History for laundry

This one's pretty self-explanatory.

If I were doing my laundry, I would take the Crusades,

Wash out the Blood and Violence, Bleach the red out,

I'd put Wars of Roses in, Whiten the Red, Red Rose,

Lift a big bucket of Water, Douse out the Great Fire of London.

I'd soak a clean rag, wipe down the Layers of Grime from the Industrial Revolution,

Wash out the Colonies thoroughly to rid the Filth of the Europeans.

I'd take Extra-strong Soap (even that might not work)

And scrub vigorously the World Wars, Wash away the Guns, Rub out Disease, Clean the soldiers up.

I'd dump Churchill, Stalin, Hitler oh and let's not forget Truman! into the Washing Machine.

A few turns Might do them good, get the coat of Violence out,

Though I'd have to Repair the Machine afterwards.

P.S. It's for the Greater Good!

But (let's be honest here) I don't think even the Repaired Machine

Would be able to handle humanity today.

Riffling through the pages